17 Body Language Mistakes We All Make
Astrologer Vighnesh:: www.astrovighnesh.com
In
several famous studies by Dr. Albert Mehrabian, it was found that 7%
of communication is verbal, 38% is vocal (sounds) and 55% is
NON-VERBAL.
That
means that most of the signals we send to those we talk to involve
no words, no sound, just our body language. Studies show that most
of us commit these little errors every day without being aware of
them. So if you want to better protect your thoughts and avoid
offense, check out these 17 common mistakes we all make with our
daily body language.
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1.
Smiling only with our mouths
I love
smiling, and it's great to see one, no doubt. But when the smile
isn't naturally occurring, when you only smile with your mouth but
don't let the rest of the face participate - you create a silly
impression at best and appear phony at worst. If you feel the need
to smile, remember to smile with your entire face and truly mean
it.
2.
Looking up or around you
When
your eyes start to wander in the middle of a conversation,
especially going up, this sends the message that you are not
listening, not interested or not focused. When people are talking to
you, look right at them.
3.
Fiddling with objects around you.
When
we're tense we tend to fiddle with stuff in our hands - roll, tear
or play with an object (this includes personal grooming or removing
cat hair from your shirt). You may be surprised to hear this, but
body language experts agree that this doesn't show nerves, it looks
you are not agreeing with what the other person is
saying.
4.
Crossing your arms and legs
Crossing
your arms and/or legs is a comfortable position, and when we're
tense we often feel a strong urge to do so because it makes us feel
more protected. However, the other side of this coin is that the
person in front of you feels as if you are closing yourselves off to
the conversation and to them
emotionally.
5.
Fidgeting
Restless
legs, changing postures every minute, drumming with your fingers or
moving your head from side to side - may just indicate you find your
chair uncomfortable or perhaps you need to go to the bathroom. But
for the person in front of you, the feeling is of nervous ticks that
may distract them from what they were saying, or make them feel you
aren't really listening.
6. Not
looking the other person in the eyes
This is
one of the staples of inter-personal communication: Avoiding eye
contact, say body language experts, is the first step to bad
communication. If you meet someone and they almost never look you in
the eyes, you probably felt quite uncomfortable during the
conversation. That said, eyeballing someone isn't good either, as it
can seem aggressive. Keep eye contact for a few seconds at a time,
then look away, and return to eye contact when the other person is
talking to you.
7. Keeping
our hands on our hips
Many of
us place our hands on the hips, with elbows facing outwards, so in
an subconscious way we feel the need to 'enlarge' ourselves and
leave more room for our personal space. This is a defensive position
but one that can be interpeted as threatening to the other person.
So unless you are going for intimidation, leave the hands relaxed
and placed on the thighs or the sides of the
body.
8.
Keeping our head low
Lowering
your head sends a message of shyness, surrender and even shame.
Without even noticing, it places you on a lower status than the
person you are talking to. So remember to lift your head and look at
the other person directly.
9.
Nodding too much
When we
listen to another and want to show him we agree without interrupting
him, we nod. So far so good. The problem is that too much nodding
can show you as submissive, as if you are trying to please the other
person too much. If you feel you're nodding too much, try to catch
yourselves doing it and deliberately switch to some verbal cues
"yes" or "I agree".
10.
Doodling on a piece of paper
Sometimes, during a meeting,
you need to write some things down, and that's fine. But while
you're not writing something important, don't doodle. Keep that for
another time. Why? Because that lack of focus is transmitted to the
other person, telling them they are wasting their time with you, and
of course - it prevents eye contact.
11. Rolling
our eyes
Sure,
this gesture can be comical around friends and family, but we might
be so used to it we do it in an official meeting, which can cause
very bad results. Doing this amongst strangers shows not only that
you do not agree with what they are saying, but may also convey a
lack of respect. It summons the image of a sullen teenager who is
just waiting to be left alone. In short - it is rude, and you'd be
best avoiding it.
12.
'Melting' into our chair
The
antidote to a stressful meeting is not lounging or melting into your
chair or sofa (lowered shoulders, putting your elbows on the table,
leaning back with spread legs etc.) This kind of posture may
transmit a lack of caring to the other side, and that you're not
really interested in having a conversation at the moment. Sit
straight but not rigid, and if you are standing - stand
firm.
13.
Playing with our hair
Playing
with your hair is very common in flirtation, so its perfect for a
romantic date. However, if we're talking about a business meeting or
any other stressful event, keep your hands away from your hair.
Playing with your hair may be interpeted as being nervous, rolling
or even chewing the hair may be signs of a lack of
maturity.
14.
Pinching our nose while closing our
eyes
This
movement is what experts see as if you saying to the other person
that you are not happy with them and have a negative view of their
actions. If you have a headache or sinus pain, you may be doing it
without noticing. But try to explain why you are doing it to avoid
giving the wrong impression.
15. Touching
our nose too often
If you
feel an itch, by all means, scratch that nose. But often touching
the nose may, subconsciously, send the message you are either lying
or hiding something. There's even a medical explanation for it: When
our blood pressure rises ( when we lie), our nose tissue and cells
create histamine, which causes an itch. Your partner may not know
this, but subconsciously they can feel the connection between nose
touching and lying.
16.
Standing with our body pointing at the
exit
This is
true in any culture. If you want to show your conversation partner
respect and interest, you must face them. If you are turning, even
with only half your body, towards the door or any other exit in the
room, the message is sent that you cannot wait to finish this
conversation so you can leave and do other things. If you notice
this, correct yourselves and face your partner once
again.
In
movies and television shows, we see this kind of stance as connected
to learned types or grizzled army men. In reality, standing with
your hands behind your back transmits anger, disagreement with what
is being said and even a hint of threat or violence. So please,
leave this pose to the
actors.
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